Why I am a less then fantastic parent

10 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

I have started to write this a thousand times and with every start, my blood would surge through my body and I would vomit up paragraph after paragraph of incoherent gibberish.It made me just that angry.

Perhaps it is PMS. I am a woman after all and not allowed to be bothered by anything without the implication that PMS is behind it, you know. So, it could be PMS or maybe it's just the fact that a magazine so many woman trust is spoon feeding them crap.

Parent's magazine's December edition just hit my mail box a few days ago. I was excited to see an article on celiacs included and delighted by the great kids crafting ideas.


First I stumbled onto a small article on how measles are on the rise. They blame this on peoples' (in their opinion) unfounded fear of a vaccine / autism connection, claiming this is causing "dire consequences." 131 cases in the ENTIRE US is dire consequences? And, they even admit that not all cases were among unvaxed populations. That means that with or without the shot you child is still at risk for dire consequences.

Now, this article would probably not have inflamed me quite so much had I not found more vaccine propaganda stuffed into another piece where it's inclusion was 100% asinine.

The article is called : Let your child soar (and 49 other ways to be a fantastic parent) or alternately titled 50 different ways you fail at parenting every day.

Granted there are some lovely ideas in there, like make warm memories, be a role model, and make time for meals together. Then there is so so advice like putting your baby to bed drowsy- hey great if that works for you but I'm not any less fantastic nor are my children crappy sleepers because I rocked them to sleep as infants. And then, oh then, is ass-vice which should have been left out. Things like NUMBER 7

Get your kids vaccinated

Clearly, I am not a fantastic parent.

Mira, yes my autistic child, was allergic to her vaccinations. She had a fever for 5 months, severe reflux and colic, and she was vaccinated until I figured out what was going on. Her doctor at the time refused to accept that she was having a reaction to her vaxes and threatened to involve child services. I never took her back there and she has not received a single shot since. (this also means that I failed to follow tip number 36 for being a fantastic parent: listen to your doctor).

Do I think vaccines made my daughter autistic? No, I think she was predisposed to being that way. Do I think there is a possibility that vaccines made her symptoms of autism worse? Hell yes.

With Tessa, I waited until after the 1 year mark before beginning her vaccines. She is almost fully vaxed and truthfully I wish that she wasn't. Issues have arisen since I started vaccinating her, things I will always wonder if they have been made worse because of not carefully selecting with vaccines were right for her.

Neither of my sons are vaccinated, nor will I even consider selectively doing so until well after the age of two. After sitting down with two different pro-vaccine doctors who both feel that vaccines may not be in the best interest of MY children, I could not in good conscious choose to vaccinate them at this point in their lives.

So to you Parents magazine, might I offer some advice?

  • If the CDC is bank rolling you, let's put that right on the cover. That way me and other less then fantastic parents can easily steer clear of the propaganda
  • Stop guilting parents for daring to question the safety of a product with ingredients like formaldehyde, aluminum, & MSG. Heck, even Progresso soup is trying to kick the MSG
  • Consider these fantastic parenting revisions for future lists: 1)Educate yourself about children's health issues 2)Find a doctor that you trust to address your family's specific health needs, realize they are human and can make mistakes. Know it is ok to question their diagnosis and seek a second (or 14th) opinion.

Or better yet, just keep the vaccine pushing out of articles where their presence is 100% irrelevant.

baby crying

And to those who think I am merely an anti vaccine nut job, I am not against vaccines. I acknowledge that they have contributed in some ways to a healthier population but I know like a good bra, vaccines are not and can not be one size fits all.


Catch me regularly blogging at Finding Yourself Despite Yourself

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