Our Ultrasound Dilemma

8 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was completely obsessed with the baby growing in my belly.

Partly, I was obsessed because the baby growing in my belly made me throw up every day, sometimes more than once, and I needed a reason to be in so much misery.

But I was obsessed, none the less.

I found out about an elective 3D/4D ultrasound studio near my house, and I had to get one. It was my only glimpse of baby Grace in real space and time. The pictures were amazing, and I came home with a DVD of the whole session.

I saw Grace smile; I saw mannerisms that endure even today.

3d ultrasound

It was a completely awe-inspiring afternoon.

3d ultrasound

Do you think they're similar to what she looked like at birth?

She was 3 hours old here:

Newborn Grace, 2 hours old

3d ultrasound

Three days old here, the day we left the hospital:

Newborn Grace, 3 days old

I see so much of 3-year-old Grace in that tiny, newborn face.

3d ultrasound

I can't believe the resemblance between the picture above and the one below.

She was one month old here:

Newborn Grace, one month old

So what's my dilemma?

I'm not obsessed with my developing baby this time around.

Like all second-time moms, I have too much going on to be obsessed. I have a 3-year-old whirlwind who needs attention and love. I've spent a lot of time sick (not morning sickness this time, just assorted viruses). I spend a huge chunk of time working at work and working on my blog.

I don't have time to be obsessed. I didn't know I was in my third trimester until the doctor told me. I've missed entire months of reading in my pregnancy books.

The horror!

As much as I'd really like to know for sure if this baby is a boy or a girl (because our technician at 20 weeks wasn't as confident as I'd like), and as much as I'd like to see my growing baby's mannerisms and facial expressions now, before she's born, I'm ambivalent about getting the 3D/4D ultrasound.

Plus, it costs almost $200.

But here's the dilemma that Joe and I have discussed time and time again over the last couple of weeks. Will my January baby someday feel slighted (or even unwanted) because we skipped the fancy ultrasound?

Is it unfair of us to not give the same gift to our January baby that we gave to Gracie (a DVD of her in utero)?

We've talked to a few people about this in person, and everyone seems to think it's not a big deal. I have a nagging feeling that it could be a big deal, though, so I wanted to ask you, and get your take on it.

What do you think?


Tara blogs at Feels Like Home. Connect with her on Twitter or Facebook.

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