Once upon a time, a woman was married to a very nice man. He tried his best, but he found it very difficult to please her. In actuality, he had no chance of pleasing her because she suffered from "I" disease -- too little space between the "I's" in her conversation and demands.
Cut to the second marriage: She has changed. Case in point: This evening, following dinner, I asked my husband if he would like some dessert. We had pie left over from his birthday on Sunday, so he said he would like to have that. I placed the plate in front of him and gave him a fork. He ate the two pieces of pie which were left on the plate. I said nothing -- simply went about cleaning up the kitchen.
So how is this a change? Well, during the first marriage, this woman (obviously me) would have let her husband eat the pie and then sulked all evening because he didn't ask her if she wanted some. He would have had no idea why she was pouting. Her resentment would pile up and up, and she would end up crying and would finally tell him what was wrong. He would feel like crap for having been so selfish!
This time around, she (I) has learned that if she wants something, she needs to say so. If I had told my husband that I wanted some of the pie, he would have gladly shared it with me. I really didn't want any.
It sounds so simple, doesn't it? And it is, really. If I want or need something from my partner, I will not ordinarily get what I want or need unless I make that want or need known to him. He is a super-intelligent human being; however, he has never acquired the skill of reading minds. The mature me understands this. When I was nineteen through almost fifty, I didn't get it. I do now. Thanks be to God!!
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