The Illusion of The "Perfect" Marriage

6 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Just this week, Seal and Heidi Klum announced their separation after just six years of marriage. It seemed they had the perfect marriage. There was always a lot of affection between them in the media, as well as the annual vow renewals and constant talk about their sex life.

It seemed they had the perfect marriage. The perfect family. Except I never bought into it.

I've always been suspicious of people who tout a perfect lifestyle or perfect spouse. In fact, I cant stand to be around people like that. I feel like they're overcompensating, and making others around them feel bad.

I remember in my early twenties I was dating my husband, but we were dirt poor. A friend of mine was dating someone who came from a wealthy family. I joked that our dinners at the time usually consisted of breakfast cereal or Taco Bell's dollar menu. She retorted, "Oh, we only have gourmet meals. No cheap cereal for us."

I was offended. I felt like she was taking a jab at me because we couldn't afford gourmet food. Well, I'm still with my husband after almost 20 years. We can afford the full Taco Bell menu now.

I later found out that my friend was having problems with her boyfriend. She suspected he was cheating, and she was worried about getting cut-off from his money. She was overcompensating.

Now I choose to hang out with moms more like me. Moms who I can talk to about my kids' tantrums or behavior issues. Moms who can relate to the fact that I do more housework than my husband. Moms who can help me feel normal for having these problems rather than make me feel like my marriage or my kids are inadequate.

So rather than celebrate the perfect marriage or the perfect lifestyle. I'd rather we celebrate our commons problems and help each work through them.

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