5 Reasons I want people to stop comparing my kids to other family members

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.
"Oh look at her! She looks just like Grandma". "He is just like your Uncle". These are just 2 of the comparisons that I have heard since my children were born. Yet the comparisons are endless.... 

Think back to when you were a kid, remember going to those family reunions, or Christmas dinner. You barely saw some of these family members all year. Yet they would grab you, hug you, and almost instantly tell you who you were like. As if you didn't have your own personality, I knew I did, even as a young child it bothered me that I had to be "like" someone else. 

I clearly remember being compared to my Auntie Debbie, now, don't get me wrong, I love that lady with all my heart. The problem was, I didn't understand what part of me was like her. Was it the way I looked, or my demeanor. You see, my Auntie Debbie is a clinically diagnosed schizophrenic. Is that what they meant?  I spent my teen years thinking my hormonal episodes were schizophrenia. Simply an unfair thing to do to a child. I wanted to be Darla, I wanted to be who I was meant to be, without any predetermined outcome. I don't think that is too much to ask? 

The same sort of judgement happened when I had my first baby, it was like there was some sort of competition. One that I didn't understand. First of all this was MY baby, I put in the 10 months ( I am clearly tired of the 9 month bullshit ... do the math) and not one person came to his newborn side, without comparing him to their side of the family. All I could think was, really? Give this kid a chance, he doesn't have to be like any of you. He should have every chance to be... who he really is! 
Let's give 'em a chance to be, what they were meant to be! 
So here it is, the stuff that makes me think......stop! Let them be them, it is their right! 
  1. It's their complete right to figure it out, on their own. 
  2. Being labelled, is never going to help them be anything, but labelled.
  3. They are their very own person, regardless of what you want. Dont be selfish, this is their life. 
  4. You may persuade them to be something they are not!  That is clearly unfair! 
  5. It's their life! Give it to them. 


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