Last night I was working on my new "Self Love Academy" class. The speaker was Karlyn Percil. At one point in the video she talked about real self-love. She discussed expressing self-love by going to get your nails done. She spoke about how easy it can be to fall into just doing nice things for yourself and calling it self-love. Sure those things matter but they are not all self-love is.
Self care grows out of self-love. It is a part of it, but not the whole thing. If you are going through the motions and not really experiencing worthiness, than you're not going to get the full benefit of what care you are giving yourself. Only by feeling worthy can we truly love ourselves.
Another part that often gets ignored is facing down our demons. Learning self-love and worthiness comes through confronting the shadows in our life and overcoming them. I have had so much negativity to overcome. All those voices/recordings in my head telling me that I have no worth. Sometimes those voices were my dad, mom, ex lovers, preachers, and others. Once I learned to identify who the voices were then I was able to shut them down. Through shutting them down I have been able to replace those tapes with my own voices speaking worthiness. Learning what habits hurt you and then working through them gives you tremendous power. Cutting those demons down to size makes room for love to bloom and greatness to grow.
Self love means setting boundaries. Using our voices to keep us safe, saying no, and not letting people bust through our borders. I feel that setting boundaries can be some of the toughest work we do. Self care helps us set them and self-love reminds us why. Worthiness tells us we have the right to be safe, to take no bull, and to not have negativity in our lives.
Yes, get those nails done! Take that much-needed nap. Do these things for all the right reasons. Do them because you enjoy it, but also do them from a place of worthiness. You deserve to be cared for, you are worthy of a good night's sleep. Take that self-care deeper, let the lessons sink all the way in. This is how self-care becomes self-love.
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