This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.


I love my old friends that have stayed in my life on purpose….I love my new friends that have entered or will enter….Both give me perspective that the other cannot give….

My old friends tell me who I was and the travels I have been on. We laughed together and cried together and built our dreams together……When life sort of took us on separate roads we still remained friends as I merged into new trafffic to meet new people with different personalities…..

The new friends gave me a new perspective ….The old friends showed me my past….the new friends show me my future….both very important…..We gravitate towards those who will lead us to where we need to go not to where we have been….When we want to reflect on the past we seek our old friends who comfort us and share our history….

The new friends bring us a freshness….The old friends reflect who we were to compare to where we are now….Yes, both new and old are both equal….for they give us a view of who we are, who we were, and who we are becoming…



It is easy to get clog drains in our pipes….Put down the wrong stuff and the drains get clogged requiring us to unsstick what has stopped up our drains….Life is very much like this. Often people wonder why their life suddenly came to a standstill and then began to back up…..Much of the time it was because of repetitve behaviors that they did day in and day out much without even any thought behind it….

Our habits, our behaviors, and the way we see the world as well as ourselves can be what clogs up our lives….It can cause our lives to come to a halt to the point that everything begins to back up….

Look at what may be clogging and blocking up your life…..Do you have jealousy, manipulation, grudge holding, chip on shoulder personality, anger, a spirit of gossip, or any other negative personality trait? If so, that may be what is clogging up your life’s drains……When we take a closer look at our lives we often see things we didn’t want to see….traits that we hold onto that we think protect us….but they don’t….Those negative traits only harm us…..or clog up our drains….

Take the time to unclog your drains and never put something down them that is anything that will clog them in the future….



I always feel a great negotiation is where we give some and they give some…..A negotiation that doesn’t allow room for give and take simply is not a negotiation….It is an unfair manipulation in my opinion…..An all or nothing....

Whenever I negotiate on something I plan on giving something. The key is to get exactly what we want and be willing to give what truly doesn’t matter all that much. If we give away the important things in exchange for what is not important we have truly lost what we went into the negotiation for….

I would rather walk out of a negotiation and have lost than to give up on what means the most to me….And yet, I am willing to concede on what really doesn’t matter….



So many people’s lives are filled with negative habits in almost all areas of their lives including  their relationships…..Our relationships are simply composed of behaviors where we interact with each other. Over time those habits we carry into our relationships can create a relationship of success or one of failure….It  all depends on us….the people in the relationships…

Create all positive habits in your relationships and you may see a total relationship turn around….Years of bad habits build up a lot of resentment….but making an immediate change for the better can be met with optimisim that an old relationship can become new again….

Habits create who we are…..and our relationships simply reflect the habits we have built into and around them.



Sometimes a simple thing like changing our hairstyle or changing the type of clothes we wear can simply get our lives going again. Those little changes can bring about a new found excitement that we haven’t seen in awhile….A hair color change, a hair style change, clothing style change, or almost any other outwardly change often reflects a “new us” to the world….A changed us….and the outward changes simply lets the world know that a new change has taken place from inside of us…



So often people simply wait for life to happen to them….and they wait and they wait somemore…Life never seems to open up for these waiting people….That is because life requires us to make deposits into the Pursuit Bank….We have to pursue what we want before life seems to meet us half way…..We are the ones that must create the opportunities for the things we want….They simply will not come to us…

Creating opportunities is something we should be doing everyday…Looking for something that fits right into our lives. Not all opportunity is equal to another so we have to decide which ones fit and which ones don’t….Life is a journey and it is up to us to stop along the way to pick the opportunities we want….



I always say when I pull into my driveway “I am coming home to a little piece of Heaven” and that is how I feel…I love the trees that overhang as I pull up….to me it looks like Heaven…In life we all should have places in life that we feel a sense of comfort and warmth as well as beauty….Beauty energies the Soul….

I love beautiful places and I love places that simply give me comfort and a sense of well being…..Those places can be as simple as a porch swing…They don’t have to be elaborate….Just someplace that nurtures harmony and wellbeing to one’s soul….A Little Piece of Heaven….



Life is filled with all kinds of choices…..Many are great choices, some are OK choices, and some choices are simply not right for our lives…..It is up to us to pick the choices that are right for our lives….but first we have to know exactly what we want…..A confused mind will attracted confused choices…..A mind that knows exactly what it wants will draw in exactly what it wants…..Making choices and the right ones is key to our successes in life….



Life simply does not come to us….We go to it….Too often people stay home waiting for something good to happen for them and indeed not much happens….Sometimes we simply have to get out in the world and simply take the plunge into life…..Into all that is wonderful out in the world that can make our lives fabulous….

Waiting on life to happen will not get us anywhere. Staying home and hiding indoors behind the TV or computer is no way to lead a fabulous life…..A fabulous life involves getting out there and making the dreams you hold in your heart happen…..Jump in….Get out there….



We hear so much about peer pressure for our children that we often don’t realize that adults get peer pressure as well…..Peer pressure for adults come in less obvious ways and yet are equally  pressing…..The people we call friends can often be a form of peer pressure if we are trying to keep up with them…..I believe there is good peer pressure and bad peer pressure depending on what it is and if it is or isn’t right for our lives….

Adults often feel pressured into keeping up with what everyone else is doing, when indeed sometimes simply trying to keep up with your own self is the best thing one can do…Living up to your own standards and what is important and not to allow the pressure of what others want your life to look like  is important to remember….Most peer pressure is done for the other person’s benefit anyhow….

Right people in our life is key to us going in right directions….There is good peer pressure that helps motivate us to that next highest level in life that we are ready to go in….but bad peer pressure will push us in a direction that is not right timing wise or otherwise for our lives…..Determining what peer pressure to listen to and which to not listen to is key to a happy and successful life….as well as making all the right choices....



Most people it seems are not in the present moment….at least not where they are at….So many people are thinking about the future, the past, or someone somewhere else….Many people are glued to texting while in conversations with people in their present moment….Some people simply never look up from their computers to see who is around them or the beautiful day outside….

There comes a time in life that we should put down the virtual apparatuses that we hold onto like a pacifier…..We simply need to get present in the moment with the people and environment we are in….We need to get our heads out of the computer, put down our texting, lay down our cellphones….and simply be present…..


I think most of us like people that we can look up to, sometimes copy after, and people that motivate us to be better than what we already are….The key is to find the right people….not the wrong ones….The world is filled up with so many negative role models both on TV and in real life that we often forget the ones that truly are positive and living the right kind of lives…
Who we choose to copy after, emulate, watch, and learn from is such a big part of how our lives turn out….Copying after the right people can lead us to where we want to go….Copying after the wrong people can send our lives down a slippery slope to nowhere…..

Find the right people to allow to enter your life and to emulate if that is what you want to do….and put a “Closed” sign to the ones that you do not want to be like….


ADAPTATION…Adjusting to the Unchangable…

Adapatation is a wonderful ability to have….Life is ever changing and some events simply happen that can’t be changed…..To hold on to wishing that something will change that has no chance of changing  is best dealt with the trait of adaptation…..There are things in life that are out of our control. Things that we can’t change….Things that have happened…..Things that we may not like….but it is in those things that we must adapt. Those things we must allow ourselves to adjust to….Adaptation takes time, but if we give ourselves  time to adapt we are likely to come out better for it….for sometimes in life we have little or no other choices other than to…….Adapt…


Trauma can come in any form…..Anything that changes one’s life dramatically can fall into the category of trauma…..A negative event that happens suddenly often takes a while to adjust to. There are distinct stages to truma…..Shock, denial, anger, depression, and so forth…..If one gives it time they will ultimately come to a place of healing and a new found ability to embrace life again…..but in the beginning trauma is anything but easy or good…

Trauma of anykind is an event and a journey that no one wants…..It can be a most difficult time…..The key is to hold on, get professional help if possible, and simply put one foot in front of the other to be patient with themselves……Overtime the truama one faces becomes like a scar….a reminder of what we have been through but it doesn’t hurt anymore…..Life goes on….Happiness awaits….



So many people simply walk through life like a zombie not paying much attention to where they are going in life…..A well lived life is observant of every move they make and every step they take….knowing that they are the right ones…..

Watching where we are going in life is key to how our lives turn out….We need to be alert to hidden dangers in life as well as hidden opportunities that we could be passing up…..Watching where we are going in life is simply a way of being….something we do and repeat daily to keep us heading in all the right directions…


When a storm enters our lives it often causes us to change direction….Often we simply have to keep  driving right through it when the direction we want to go in is truly the direction we are meant to go. There are times though that a change in plans, a change in navigation, and a change in where we want to end up takes place…

When a storm enters our lives often it is simply there to tell us where we were heading is not where we were meant to be……and we choose to take a different course in life…..Yes, sometimes a storm is simply a sign that we are meant to change course……Discerning if we are meant to keep on going through the storm, wait till it is over, or going in an entirely new direction can make all the difference in how our lives turn out.



Is it every OK to break a promise? Is it ever OK to go back on one’s word? Is it ever OK to simply say “I am sorry, but I can’t do what I said I would….?”

I believe we should honor our words and what we have promised….in most cases…..but I do believe there are times when the circumstances around that promise have changed and what we promised is not good for us to do. Often circumstances change to a point that we need to change what we promised….

There is always the potential loss of credibility when we go back on our words, but sometimes we simply have to do so….A promise made to someone is not necessarily a promise that should be kept……If we made the wrong promise to begin with and find ourselves in a situation that is conflicting with what is truly right I believe it is OK to break a promise…..

There is always the possibility of “fallout” due to broken promises and we must consider that when breaking one….The pros and the cons to breaking a promise would never have to be considered many times had we taken the time and thought before obligating ourselves to something we may not have been certain about in the first place.



I do enjoy looking back at great memories….and even sometimes looking back on my more challenging times in life can give me the confidence to know that I can achieve whatever I put my mind to…..And yet, I truly like to live in my present moments and build towards my future……A great present moment does not do anything that will take away from the future…..A great present moment  compliments it’s future….

Looking back may be fun from time to time but those who live in the past are not able to go forward with all that is right for their present and future…..Our life is lived best in our Now moments while building towards our futures….not by living extensively in the past….The past can be cherished and opened up from time to time to be looked at and enjoyed….but it is truly in today and tomorrow that our lives are being built…..



Exercise and eating right are choices we make every day…..A life that is filled with healthy life practices tends to be a far happier life than one that is not……Including the right exercises and a healthy lifestyle in all ways promotes a happy life. If we are sick and broken we will not be happy no matter how much outward success we have accumulated. Take the time to build a healthy life of fitness and a healthy lifestyle….It will be well worth it…


Some people simply don’t think before they speak and some people simply are so impulsive that they don’t even think before they do something….These people simply meet up with disaster at some point….both socially and otherwise….It is key for us to think before we do and think before we “blabb….” Because what comes out of our mouth reflects who we are on the inside and our behaviors reflect our intent…….Taking the time to consider what we are going to speak and what we are going to do and how it will affect our lives and others is key to building a life of respectability as well as success…


Getting started is always the hardest part, but once we do it seems we pick up speed……building momentum is key to getting our lives up and going and heading in the direction that we want to go…..When we get that momentum going we gain a confidence that we otherwise would not have……Get out there in life….put one foot in front of the other and before you know it you will have built up the momentum to be running as fast as you want.



I think so often people simply beat themselves up over the mistakes they made. They maginfy what they did.They also remind everyone what they did....Remember, if we want others to forget what mistakes we made...then quit reminding them.  And even in the cases where someone did a big goof up they simply at some point have got to let it go. They must reestablish a relationship with themselves that is based on one of love and acceptance even for the imperfection within who they are as well as their mistakes.

We all have made mistakes in our lives. That is a given. If one hasn’t they likely haven’t done much living in life….The key is to forgive oneself of the mistakes and to move on once they have learned from it what not to do again.

Also people often “beat up” those around them by constantly reminding them of what they did wrong. That doesn’t make for a good relationship. The best thing is to provide comfort rather than criticism to the person who has made a mistake….not condoning the mistake, but rather accepting that they are normal and all people make errors in judgment intentional or not…



How I see the world may be a lot different than how you see it. We all see the world in a different way. So when I write about living your best life and reaching for higher levels you may simply be wishing to survive….You see life from the floor up and I am looking up higher….There have been times I have been on the floor looking up as well….Simply said, we all see life differently than another even when our views are similar….respect where a person is coming from and what they are seeing that you are not...



I simply think persistance is key….Getting to a yes….A great salesperson is not focused on the no they may get, instead they are focused on the YES they expect. Stay focused on the Yes and you will likely get it….



Change is never something we want. We all like sameness while craving for change….We don’t like to leave what is safe and consistent for something uncertain. It is simply the way we are. We are creatures of habit. Yet, to better our lives we must make change. Change is a given consistency in life….We must embrace change whether we are afraid of it or not. Life will always change and if we are unwilling to change we will simply wither up…..Life blooms when we embrace change….The right changes....



Everyone wants to fit in….but the key is to fit in with the right people….not the wrong ones…..The majority of people out there close up and personal are wrong for our lives and very few truly are right for our lives. The key to successful relationships is to pick the right people for our lives and not the wrong ones to fit in with. If we try to fit in with the wrong people we will meet up with failure in some way….but if we meet up with the right ones we will meet up with Success…



Life does have it’s seasons…..Often our time is up in a certain situation and it is time to move on…..Staying too long where we no longer belong can result in negative things occuring in our lives. And yet, people often stay well beyond their time in a certain situation…..Determining when it is time to move out and move on for our lives or even for those we love is important so that any negative fallout can be avoided….

Life is about change….Life is about Seasons….Staying too long in any one season and refusing to make the needed changes will lead us right into the path of failure….Getting out of where we don’t any longer belong and putting ourselves where we do can truly be amazing in the turn of events in our lives….One right place can totally change our life around for the best….



Sometimes we simply need to start over….A fresh start….There is a new energy and receptivity when we start something new……When people stay too long even in a good place they begin to get dull and the things and people they would normally be receptive to they no longer are…..

Making a change (a postiive one) often is the best thing we can do. It brings an aliveness to us that we otherwise would not have. It brings a whole new energy that creates in us a hightened alertness and a receptivity to things and people we would not ordinarily be receptive to…

People who get stuck in life even in a good place who become willing to make a change often see dramatic results for the positive in their lives…Change even sometimes for change sake can be a very good thing….The Right Changes….



We all have said something we wished we could take back….We all have done something that we are likely to be embarrassed about….And yet, to live in that embarrassement and to beat ourselves up over it serves no positive purpose…

We all make mistakes….We should learn from our mistakes…..Embarrassment is temporary or at least it should be….When we can laugh at ourselves while holding our head high we tend to do better than if we were to slink off into hiding over what we messed up on….Simply keeping an attitude of acceptance of our imperfections and our mess ups is part of who we are…..Embarrassment is only embarrassment if you allow it to get into your Soul….The best way to handle embarrassment is to simply let it go….stand tall….move forward…


ONE RIGHT DECISION cannot correct a wrong decision but it can be a good start…

It would be great if we could simply turn a wrong decision into a right decision but that simply is not so…..Often many right decisions can be messed up through one wrong decision…..but most often one wrong decision takes a lot more than one right decision to correct it…

When we have made a wrong choice often it is best to admit it and simply move forward with right decisions knowing that it may take time for the wrong decision to correct itself through a series of right decisions….Life is about decisions and when we mess up often people and sitautions simply do not easily allow us to forget….The key is to get back out there….Do not repeat what we do not want people to remember….and simply keep on going….People do forget….and we have to hope they forget, but even if they don’t…..we push forth…



What do you need to do to create what it is you want….If we keep doing the same things over and over we will simply get the same old results….We likely have to do something new and different to get different results…..



I always like to say I think 22 Steps ahead of everyone else….The truth is we all have to think ahead of what the other person is thinking if we want to be ahead of the game…Life is often about forecasting the same way one does with the weather....We forecast both our obstacles and our successes.....When we do this we can more easily cope with problems that may arise......I always say it is better to be 22 Steps ahead than to be 2 steps behind....




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