I was recently accused of being a man-hater. The ill-informed accuser had confused my independence and comfort in being alone with a more sinister point of view.
The truth, however, is so far from the allegation that in my defense I thought a written piece regarding the absurdity was warranted. I love men. I'm not saying I understand them completely. They are as complicated as complicated comes.
But women are complicated too, and so putting aside (for a moment) the complicated things that often leave us feeling as far apart as Venus and Mars, let's focus on the reasons that I find men wonderful.
As a little girl I fell in love with a beautiful neighborhood boy. What did I know of love? Not much. But the way he tossed his bike to the ground after effortlessly jumping away from its spinning wheels, hop-skipping himself toward me with a testosterone laced smile? What else did I need to know? The fact that he liked me was the proverbial icing on the cupcake. It tasted as sweet.
Swoon worthy looks are nice, but without substance, a pretty face can only take a girl so far (sometimes as far as one night; shame, shame).
I have met many a man, who though lacking the chiseled chest of David Beckham or the rugged handsomeness of Jake Gyllenhaal, did have that je ne sais quoi that made this girl swoon as if a Beckham-Gyllenhaal combination had just entered the room.
What is that?
That spark of magic, which creates butterflies in the belly. How could you not love that?
I used to joke that I would only date a man who was smarter than me. A per-requisite, so to speak.
Men with brains, or with knowledge on subjects I haven't a clue, are fascinating. Before you try to hang me for what sounds like a pre-feminist viewpoint, let me just say, "No one loves a brilliant woman more than I." But introduce me to a cardiac doctor or lawyer or banker or an up and coming film maker (any of whom are) of the male persuasion, and listening and learning about things I don't quite understand creates a dynamic of intrigue. Who doesn't appreciate a little intrigue, especially when it comes in unfamiliar packaging?
Mens' brains are great, but brawn is not bad, either. Science has proven that men have lots of qualities that separate them from women; one of the most obvious being their muscular build which provides them considerably more upper body strength. I do appreciate a strong upper body (as my own is the least strong part of me). Having a man appear to assist, as I try to lift that heavy thing from that high place up there ... I love that!
At pre-school pick-up today I was reminded of two more reasons to love men; fathers and grandfathers. I watched as a grey-haired man held the hand of his granddaughter, and sweetly challenge her to see if she could recognize his car. Did he realize that he was giving her a gift? The gift of knowing how caring and loving a good man can be?
I watched a much younger man trailing behind his little boy ,who was busily pushing a truck along the sidewalk. I listened as patient dad and curious son has a conversation about the truck, pure male connectedness, and I kept on, feeling grateful for the additional blog-worthy material.
There are men in the world who love women, and as an extension, love their kids and the idea (the real thing too) of the family. I personally know a man who actually said to me, "Not have my wife and kids? What would be the meaning of my life?"
Men who really love women do not just sexualize them. These men have a real appreciation for the gifts that women bring to a life, for the deep beauty of motherhood and sisterhood. These lucky guys are rewarded by being included in the inner circle.
Luckier than the men, though, are the women who spend their lives being respected and appreciated for exactly who they are. Man-hater? Not I. Not ever, in a million years.
Do you have men in your inner circle that you consider yourself lucky to know? Do you agree with my examples and reasoning? Disagree with any?
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