I don’t make friends easily. I’m as friendly and cordial as the next guy but when it comes to long and deep relationships, it takes me forever. I love playing the “big sister” role of helping someone else along yet when it comes to yielding myself to that same kind of friendship, I sometimes turn and run. Why is that? We’re social creatures. We were specifically designed to interact. When people don't have good friends, they get weird and they do so in such a way that they have no idea what they've become. They (I) justify things and behaviors that aren't healthy or good. They (I) make poor choices. Their (My) logic becomes skewed. Ever seen Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz from Disney's Phineas and Ferb in action? Classic example of a guy who needs a good friend.
Doofenshmirtz is an extreme case and a fictional one at that. But like Heinz, we all could benefit from a best friend or two. Who's there kicking my butt and also encouraging me when I need it? Who can I do that for? Who is it that I've built a relationship of trust with - who I know always has my best interest in mind and can ask the tough questions? I'm not talking about the kind of friend that will ask if you knew you had toilet paper stuck to your shoe (although we need a friend like that, too!). I'm talking about the kind of friend that cuts to the heart and is willing to have deep and sometimes painful conversations with me BECAUSE they love me.
I look at people all around me. Some of them have lived pretty isolated, surfacey lives. Sure they have friends but they don't allow anyone too close or anyone to help them with their blind spots. I've done that myself. I need my butt kicked sometimes! I feel very blessed to have a group of friends that over years and years have become my closest and dearest confidants.
Spur each other on… Sometimes spurring hurts. It's a good kick in the side by something sharp, something that wakes you up and grabs your attention. Spurring teaches, trains and motivates. I need more spurring in my life but I've got to be willing to be open and vulnerable with people who have my best interest in mind for that to happen. Spurring, if not done in the right way, just becomes kicking. We've all been kicked and it stinks. What about you?
Do you have a best friend? Someone you can call no matter what time of day or night it is? Someone who's willing to "shoot straight" with you but also has your best interest in mind? Someone you trust completely?
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