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I am a bleeder, I bleed from the heart. I feel other's pain more than I have ever been able to explain to anyone, actually. I worry constantly that people don't like me, regardless of how well I know
I treat them. I have been an asshole and I have been an amazing friend. I have been human. I have let my own pain change the direction of my thoughts, I am now desperately in the midst of trying to change that.
My heart is attached to my head, wired differently than a lot of people I know. I don't know how not to use it on a daily basis. It is my heart that fuels my brain, my emotions that charge my passion. It has caused me to be in love with strangers and cry over the judgement I have received from other's. I will never apologize for that. I will never apologize for being misunderstood, because I have always been an open person and a simple conversation, could have cleared up the judgements that have been held against me, as well as the judgments I have held against others.
I used to throw the word friend around easily, I now see what true friends are. Mistakes happen, people deserve second chances, even 3rd or many more sometimes. that is when a true friend becomes family, becomes your heart. I luckily have found the real one's and am now weeding out the others.
The Backstabber, Gossiper and just plain Mean Girls
These "friend's" will take every personal bit of information you give them and use it against you. They will openly speak about who they think you are without any remorse. It is very sad to me that there are still women out there in this insecure place. We really need to stand together strong, rather than GOSSIP about one another. These women are the reason we still fight for feminism. It is difficult to be taken seriously if as a woman you don't treat your "sisters" with respect.
Being hurt by a person or just getting caught up in the weird world of a woman's head can cause us to get to this place, don't get me wrong I have been there. I have said my fair share of shitty comments about another girl, I hope to keep that in my past. I hope to be better.