I am super excited to have our first ever guest post from one of my favorite bloggers and clients, Vicki at Crowning Victoria!
Did you know when you become a bride you not only have the option of taking your husband's last name but another one as well? With the title of Bride comes a different, ugly surname. That, being of "Zilla."
I shudder at the thought.
No composed, right-minded girl seeks out this title and in fact many go to great lengths to hide from the mere thought of it. On the other hand, I know there are women out there who easily find the title without much difficulty. And they seem to accept it without much of a fight (or maybe because of a huge fight).
But how does one assert themselves and let their desires be known for the one special day in their life without micromanaging and coming across as a huge, Queen B?
There's such a fine line. People want you to have your way. It seems everywhere you turn ladies in salons go to great lengths to find you the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, the perfect veil and of course, even your choice of silverware. Let's not forget your family and friends whom you call your "maids" and ask them to spend hard earned money on a dress they'll never wear again. They want to please you as well. But if you push too far beyond the line and shed a tear out of frustration from trying on 50 dresses, express firmly you hate tulle, or heaven forbid ask someone to see just one more sample?
BAM. You're picky. or. *gasp* a little bit of a Bridezilla.
It seems to me that Bridezilla comes if you ask for too much, go too far, or critique with catty claws.
But let's say you don't. Maybe you hold back and smile and nod. If you simply let others make the decisions you secretly do care about, saying "It doesn't matter " eventually catches up with you. A passive attitude can find you at the brink of frustration when you realize that tiny opinion you neglected to vocalize will make you scream on the actual day. And maybe it does. Then the real Bridezilla is out of the bag.
So which is it?
Firm, assertive, and borderline demanding?
Passive, relaxed and completely lacking direction?
Honestly, sometimes I personally feel I act too passively, but with so many questions asked, I lack answers at times! Plus, I want to reply with my solid response, and that is not always at the tip of my tongue. I need to talk things through and think things out. Other times I want to declare how I envision things, but know that I need to accept and appreciate the help coming my way, in whatever form it comes. After all, no one wants an ungrateful bride! So I send my thank you notes and correspondence emails, profusely sometimes, because I'm human and do not always acknowledge my gratefulness that lies underneath all the stress. I try my best to speak up and loudly, but without raising my voice or sounding dominating and autocratic. It's all in the way you present yourself.
I walk the line, and I try not to waver.
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