Don’t you love technology? This nifty new gadget is essentially the world’s most expensive thermometer. Available in the UK and Europe this summer, it will cost about $1200 USD. No idea when it will be available around these parts.

It works by attaching a small rubber skin sensor patch in the area of your armpit and this handheld device continuously monitors fluctuations of your body temperature throughout the day. A chart and graph can be viewed printed out by plugging this gadget into your computer. I’ve done the whole BBT charting thing and let me tell you, it sucks. For optimum accuracy you can’t sleep with your mouth open or drink too much or sleep in. You have to take the damn temperature at the same time, every day, after a night of continuous sleep. Not such an easy feat if you already have another child. Sure it’s not cheap, but it’s cheaper than many other fertility treatments out there and its non-invasive.

I don’t have any idea what those cryptic symbols on the face could possibly mean - it’s certainly not intuitive.  What’s with the lightning bolt? I can’t imagine how thick the user manual must be on this thing.

LINK: Duofertility.com 

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This infant sleep mask isn’t for the claustrophobic. Just looking at this thing is making me hyperventilate. My husband teases me about my neurotic phobia about masks without obvious orifices. So naturally, I’m terrified of Spiderman. Once when we were at the Comicon in San Diego, a costumed Spiderman was making the rounds and I couldn’t even look at him without freaking out. There’s just something about that claustrophobic costume without eyeholes, earholes, noseholes or poopholes that brings out the crazy in me. People should have orifices.

So it’s little wonder that I find this sleep mask so objectionable. According to their website, This Downtime Organic Sleepytime Mask is

“Nurturing. Children learn that closing their eyes is one step in falling asleep.

Expressive. The closed eyelashes that detail the flip-down mask let others know not to disturb baby’s sleep. “

Call me old fashioned, but isn’t that what eyelids are for?! Even better, every baby comes with a pair already attached to their eyes!

Although this sleep mask has a certain sinister, comic book superhero charm, I get enough of that when my toddler’s awake. When he’s fast asleep, it’s the only time he looks innocent and angelic.

LINK: Zoebonline.com

These replicas of the classic Ray-Ban Wayfarers are scaled down to kid-size proportions and ooze 80’s style. How cute are these? Most kids sunglasses are obnoxiously colored and or decorated with Disney characters.

Offered at LittleDudesOnly.com for only $14, you won’t be heartbroken when they inevitably get lost or sat on. If the Wayfarers aren’t your style, they also offer a replica of the aviators pictured below and many many other styles.

Link: LittleDudesOnly.com

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The spinning ice cream cone is here! In the years B.C. (Before Children), I’d file this under the useless piece of crap category, but my son is a chronic lazy licker. He loves the concept of cones, but he can never seem to lick fast enough to keep the cone from dribbling down his arms in a warm, sticky mess. Of course, then it falls on me to “help” him out and lick it into a more manageable shape. Tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

Maybe, just maybe this spinning cone will act as a mechanized personal tongue trainer to whip his lazy tongue into shape? Or maybe it will just spray melted ice cream everywhere with its double AA battery-powered centrifugal force. I’m thinking the latter.

LINK: Room Service

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Can you say “Giddyup?!”

This newest entry in my ever expanding list of useless/lame baby products are Walking Wings. This gadget is designed to eliminate falls and alleviate parental back aches from stooping over to assist wobbly walkers. Not a bad idea, except the end result looks like it either belongs in a Adult Toy store or an equestrian supply store - or maybe both.

Those double leads look like reins and that harness resembles a miniature saddle. The toddler leash is indignity enough, but this product takes this to childhood bondage thing to a whole other level.

LINK: SafeandSecureBaby.com

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