That’s the question my 7-year-old son asked me after seeing so many signs about Proposition 8 littering the well-manicured landscapes of our neighborhood. To my personal disappointment, this same-sex marriage ban won at the polls by 52% to 48%.
“Well, nothing. In my opinion.” I answered.
“But why do other people want to prevent it?” he persisted.
I paused. Because I sincerely couldn’t answer that simple question without opening that messy can of worms about religious beliefs and sexual preferences. So I took a feeble stab at it by saying,
“Well, some people think there’s something wrong about two men or two women wanting to get married and they want to make it illegal.”
“But why? The government shouldn’t decide who you can love.” he frowned.
“It’s complicated. Many people feel it’s not right and that it’s (here I floundered for a word that wasn’t “sin.”) not natural or healthy.” I sighed.
My son, considered this for a moment and asked, “Is it because two men or two women can’t have babies? Because you need an egg and a sperm, right?”
Surprised, I nodded. “Yes, that has something to do with it. Some people don’t feel it’s right because it ‘goes against nature,’ somehow. It takes a man and a woman to create a baby, so they think that’s what God intended.”
Again, my son thought this over and shrugged, “Well, there’s no law that you have to have children when you get married is there?”
I laughed out loud and said, “No, thank goodness.” But that questions gave me the chills because now that this ban dictating our love lives has passed, a law mandating offspring doesn’t seem implausible at all.
“So what’s the big deal then?” he asked.
I pulled the car over to let my son out and found myself at a total loss to answer. “I wish I knew sweetie.”
He kissed me goodbye and shrugged on his backpack and skipped into school with a smile on his cherubic face. As I watched him walk off, I felt humbled by his innate innocence and goodness - this naive wisdom that all children possess.
And I was struck by how difficult it is to teach hate and prejudice because it really doesn’t come naturally to kids. As with any lesson you teach kids, you have to drill it into them repeatedly. But just like learning their ABC’s and their 123’s, if you are persistent enough and diligent enough, prejudice and hatred becomes automatic and reflexive.
So I’d like to ask 52% of other Californians who voted ‘yes’ on Proposition 8, if my 7-year-old doesn’t have a problem with it, why do you?
“What’s the big deal?”
