Now this is what I call a multi-tasking product - scare the shit out of your kids AND burn down the house all in one evening. This Frankenstein-esque headless teddy bear lamp, not only looks like a fire hazard, it’s a sure-fire nightmare inducer as well.

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This infant sleep mask isn’t for the claustrophobic. Just looking at this thing is making me hyperventilate. My husband teases me about my neurotic phobia about masks without obvious orifices. So naturally, I’m terrified of Spiderman. Once when we were at the Comicon in San Diego, a costumed Spiderman was making the rounds and I couldn’t even look at him without freaking out. There’s just something about that claustrophobic costume without eyeholes, earholes, noseholes or poopholes that brings out the crazy in me. People should have orifices.

So it’s little wonder that I find this sleep mask so objectionable. According to their website, This Downtime Organic Sleepytime Mask is

“Nurturing. Children learn that closing their eyes is one step in falling asleep.

Expressive. The closed eyelashes that detail the flip-down mask let others know not to disturb baby’s sleep. “

Call me old fashioned, but isn’t that what eyelids are for?! Even better, every baby comes with a pair already attached to their eyes!

Although this sleep mask has a certain sinister, comic book superhero charm, I get enough of that when my toddler’s awake. When he’s fast asleep, it’s the only time he looks innocent and angelic.

LINK: Zoebonline.com

As a Valley Mom, I spend lots o’ time navigating crowded parkings lots in strip malls or parking structures. I’m now that annoying mom who takes an eternity to give up my coveted parking lot real estate as I unload purchases, unstrap little ones and then fiddle with buckles and harnesses in both car seats. Oh and then put my purse and diaper bag away, fold up bulky stroller and try to cram it into my overstuffed trunk. Oops, that doesn’t fit. Pull it back out and move some crap around and try again. I don’t envy anybody who has to wait for my parking spot. And perversely, the more impatience they display, the slower I go.

But what I can’t figure out is how in a parking lot of hundreds of cars, it never fails that the car on either side of me will inevitably be leaving at the same time I am. It’s hard enough to make a hasty getaway with two kids and a mountain of gear and purchases to stow away without having to navigate opening car doors with the impatient driver in the adjacent space. Nine times out of ten, I’ll have both car doors splayed open as my oldest thankfully gets in and straps himself into his booster while I deal with my wriggleworm toddler and I’ll hear that inevitable clearing throat or restless shuffle of the driver in the next space who is waiting for me to strap my kid in already and close the car door so they can squeeze by and get into their car.

I took statistics in college and I’m pretty sure this can’t be a random occurrence because of its unexplained frequency. Is it just me? Maybe it’s karmic payback for all the parking lot wrath I used to feel in my heart towards the slowpoke families I had to wait for in my ignorant youth. Has anybody else noticed this parking lot phenomenon?

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These replicas of the classic Ray-Ban Wayfarers are scaled down to kid-size proportions and ooze 80’s style. How cute are these? Most kids sunglasses are obnoxiously colored and or decorated with Disney characters.

Offered at LittleDudesOnly.com for only $14, you won’t be heartbroken when they inevitably get lost or sat on. If the Wayfarers aren’t your style, they also offer a replica of the aviators pictured below and many many other styles.

Link: LittleDudesOnly.com

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Here’s a story from MSNBC about parents who tried to sell their baby on ebay. And what a bargain for only one Euro, which is $1.60 USD. I wonder what their “buy it now” price was?

BERLIN, Germany - Authorities in southern Germany have taken custody of a 7-month-old boy after his parents posted an ad on eBay offering to sell him for one euro, or about $1.60.

Police spokesman Peter Hieber says the baby was placed in the care of youth services in the southwestern Allgaeu region.

Hieber said on Saturday that the mother told police the Internet ad was only a joke. Authorities have begun an investigation into possible child trafficking against the parents.

No offers were made for the child in the two hours and 30 minutes the ad was posted. The Internet auction site deleted the posting later.

Several people who saw the ad alerted police.

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The spinning ice cream cone is here! In the years B.C. (Before Children), I’d file this under the useless piece of crap category, but my son is a chronic lazy licker. He loves the concept of cones, but he can never seem to lick fast enough to keep the cone from dribbling down his arms in a warm, sticky mess. Of course, then it falls on me to “help” him out and lick it into a more manageable shape. Tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

Maybe, just maybe this spinning cone will act as a mechanized personal tongue trainer to whip his lazy tongue into shape? Or maybe it will just spray melted ice cream everywhere with its double AA battery-powered centrifugal force. I’m thinking the latter.

LINK: Room Service

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