Last week, I attended a LensCrafters/BlogHer event, where we were all fitted for sexy new glasses, and learned a lot about the importance of eye exams. (Trust me, it was more fun than it sounds - there were even cocktails and mini cheeseburgers involved!)

My own glasses are still being prepared, and I will unveil them as soon as I receive them. (Hint: They are sexy. And black. and PRADA!)

It was actually a pretty sobering night, too. (Aside from me being caught in the rain after, and getting positively DRENCHED!) - among what we learned:

• As many as 10 million children in this country currently need glasses, but aren’t wearing them!
  The eyes contain the ONLY way to examine your blood vessels without cutting you open!

And worst of all:

My eyes, much like the hair on my head, and the skin on my ass, are aging! I, alas, need glasses for both reading AND distance now.

Stay tuned!

Friends, I have just read (yet more) devastating Starbucks news in my daily AdAge.com newsletter:

The chain posted a 9% jump in revenue, to $2.6 billion, but missed analysts’ expectations and swung to a net loss of $6.7 million, compared with with a profit of $158.3 million in the year-earlier period, due to costs associated with store closures and the company’s turnaround plan. Same-store sales, or stores open for at least a year, declined by “mid-single digits.” Starbucks no longer reports the exact figures.

I am leaving my place right now and going to Starbucks. Yes, I will abuse their free wi-fi for an hour or so, but I will BUY SOMETHING. Please go do the same. The future of our world as we know it depends on it.

“Metaphorically speaking, the BlackBerry has a priority system of selecting which data to save.”

I’m sorry, but how exactly is that a metaphor?

Perhaps it’s iPhone-envy, or just my excellent luck with technology, but little Pearl (i.e. my pink BlackBerry Pearl) has been raising a ruckus of late. Not even a year old, she’s dropping calls, MISSING calls, and my favorite -randomly and spontaneously erasing data. The other day, I visited the Verizon Wireless store, begging for help - they recommended a hard reset (I stomped my feet) and then, if that did not work, calling their special “data crisis” hotline.

Today, I called the hotline, and listed all my troubles - pointing out that as someone who is juggling a million projects at any given time, life with a sub-standard phone is hardly worth living.

I chatted with one tech, who then instructed me to download software and update my own. (I then pointed out the site that she sent me to was not MAC-friendly, and besides, I already had all my software updates.) She then put on her boss, who was at a loss, and then connected me with…their BlackBerry expert.

Well, finally.

I (for the third time that hour) listed my complaints, whereupon he came up with the above brilliant “metaphor” and then told me that I clearly was downloading too many applications and killing the memory.

“Um, no, sorry. I haven’t even ever downloaded a ringtone!” (Though my mom has an awesome Sex and the City one that I might change that streak for…)

He chuckled. I am not certain he believed me.

“Well, do you download music? Videos? Pictures?” Yes Verizon-man, I am using Pearl as porn-central. Just wait till you see what I have on that baby.

“No….I have like three puppy pix, and that’s it…”

“That’s it then! You are using up the memory, and your BlackBerry is deleting the data to safeguard your calendar and contacts! It’s for your own safety!”

Nice. My “safety” thinks that a SMARTPHONE should be a little more intelligent and not overwhelmed by 3 photos. But whatever.

I do not believe him. But I did as he said and deleted what little media I had…supposedly now, my data will stay where it belongs.

“Metaphorically speaking,” I’m not going to hold my breath.

Is anyone at Apple reading this? I’m ready to be wooed.

I shall be found at the Knitting Factory in New York City. Please come join me!!! More details at spiraling.net

As tonight is the prom (see back entries for more on what this is!), I am in a little bit of a hurry to get my ass out of Brooklyn and on a train to New Jersey.

This year, rather than making a dress fuss, I am engaging in true retro-accord (the concept of this prom is a nostalgic look back at our own prom-eras), and am wearing the actual dress I wore to my bat mitzvah. It still fits! Kinda. Will keep you posted on if I get through the night without exploding fabric.

Now, the question: Press-on nails. Retro chic or just a little tacky-redundant? I have one hour to decide.

You know an event is fabulous when you are required to sign an NDA before entering the door…

So, while I can’t say exactly what I did or what I ate at the Bertolli event last night, (I’m not even sure I’m allowed to disclose the fabulous location where it was held) I can say I had an awesome time, Rocco DiSpirito may just be my  new crush (a gorgeous celebrity chef offering to refill  your Prosecco AND saying he’s heard of your site is pretty much as hot as it gets), and when I can chat about specifics…I have much to say!

PS: I think I’m still full.

This evening I will be attending a dinner being thrown by Bertolli for their media friends - hosted by (the yummy, talented, gorgeous) Chef Rocco DiSpirito!

I am tempted to eat extra lightly all day just to save up some appetite!

Now I must decide what to wear…

What’s it with me and ALWAYS sitting on an angle??? Can we say unbalanced?

Who else thinks it’s a bad omen that I must appear in a video one of my clients is filming today…on Friday the 13th???

Is the Beetle not the cutest car ever? (That would be me getting out of the one I drove in, outside my hotel.)