The Sex and the City phenomenon

This afternoon, I took part in a weekly teleconference with some colleagues, where we quickly turned our conversation and heads toward everyone’s favorite topic: the upcoming Sex and the City movie.

It’s not just limited to the this group. Everyone, everywhere is obsessed. Last night, I went to a Yelp party, it was all we chatted about. Later, over sushi, the conversation continued. Friends are planning viewing parties and marathon nights of Magnolia and cosmos.

The culture of SATC though is something that reaches far beyond a film or a bag trend…we can’t ignore how the show has pretty much redefined dating as we know it. (Well, I especially can’t ignore, I am a sex editor, after all.)

I recently received an email with some great insights by Trish McDermott, VP of Love at Engage.com and 19-year dating industry expert (also a founder of Match.com). It gives us a chance to look beyond the surface chic of the SATC phenomenon and realize what it really and truly has meant to social dating, and social life in general.

The romantic collaborations and interventions that unfolded as the four Sex and the City gals hashed out their love lives over cosmos and brunch gave way to a new approach to dating for single women everywhere.

As this cultural milestone jumps from the small screen to the silver screen (movie premieres: May 30), we have to look back on how the show, and now the movie, I’m sure, changed the lexicon of love and dating.

“Sex and the City,” along with the introduction of dating reality shows like ABC’s “The Bachelor,” socialized dating. Suddenly everyone was talking about the dating choices others make, and learning vicariously through them. Was it OK to break up via post-it note? How young of a man can a somewhat older woman get away with dating? Who was really right for someone, and by what criteria? Dating choices became mainstream conversations in the workplace, at dinner parties and even among family members. Believe it or not, the world wasn’t always like this! This show didn’t just change how we dress and what we drink at bars, but how we live.

Interestingly, the Sex and the City social phenomena gave way to different types of online dating, as well. For instance, social dating communities exist (such as on Engage.com) where singles invite their friends to help them make romantic connections. They do this through dating suggestions, voting on possible dates, post-date debriefing and setting up introductions for each other. Also, coupled friends socialize among the singles, to match up their friends, who are looking for love. The idea of “social dating” is a much more “Sex and the City” approach, compared to traditional online dating, which is decidedly not social.

Something to think about as you embark on your weeks of SATC countdown: This is more than a movie premiere. It’s a culmination of the institution that changed everything.